Perils of Ghostwriting

*Ghostwriting - A ghostwriter is a writer who writes books, articles, stories, reports, or other texts that are officially credited to another person

I wouldn't call myself a world class blogger. I write on what I can and leave the rest. So for me it's shocking when people boast that they have been in the blogging / writing circuit for years yet fail to write a decent write-up let alone a blog. At the same time giving others a benefit of doubt I do work rather tinker a few articles every now and then just to give it a finishing touch!!  Over the last year I have been a ghost writer and now I realize how stupid I have been. Well to, start with I was just editing a few docs here and a few there. Gradually as days went by I started writing the complete article on any given subject with just a gist. And accidentally stumbled upon the fact that people conveniently forget to mention that. And that is exactly why i got back to writing again much to the chagrin of a few :) It's the sheer audacity of such people that made me even write about this topic. 

To me writing comes with a passion for words - you don't have to be a Shakespeare or a Shaw to write. All you have to do is to just think and then pen down your thoughts. And writing medium need not necessarily be in English, it can be your native tongue too. I have read some wonderful articles written in Hindi & Tamil and have been amazed by the clarity of thoughts that has gone by in each article.I personally feel  writing should be original and not a haphazard job of stealing somebody's ideas, words or pictures. Wonder if I can make it any easier for people to understand..Now that's called a wishful thinking :)

Back from hibernation :)

There used to be a time when this page of mine used to be a sounding board for all that used to happen in my life. And then much to my surprise I stopped blogging about 4 years ago. Not because of any great reason..new job, new place, lot of changes and I simply forgot that I even used to write before. Then came one more surprise - got married after a whirlwind romance. With all these changes also came new set of priorities in life. Not that it gives a solid reason for me not to write, I simply lost interest is all I can say :) 

Back again in this space, feels like riding a bicycle after a long time and am sure I'll get a grip back again in a while. Atleast I won't have to be a ghostwriter anymore ;) 

R&R

After almost 6 months of slogging(well as much i hate to use the word- i really did)am on a break for 3 weeks.And the very first thing i started with is sleep..So much lost sleep to be caught up with :) Sleep now is sacrosanct to me and noone's actually calling it otherwise.Next thing is my movie marathon which is up and running again..And last but not the least in the list of to dos is my treatment for Sinusitis which is the main reason for my break.I hate it when the ENT specialist prods my nose with some goddamn thing and says "Atta gal you must have layers of hardened stuff in your head" And that actually makes me happy coz now that i have so much of grey or yellow matter in my head,no one can say that head is empty-oh comeon atleast i have something it ;)So yeah apart from the painful sessions of treatment for my Sinusitis, life is good.Bliss is the word to be precise- no office,no emails,no reporting on a daily basis - am in cloud nine atleast for the time being..I know after 3 or max 4 weeks i must get back to the same old routine but then who cares..These 3 weeks are just mine and am gonna enjoy them to the very last second.

Finally..After a real long time am here and the reason..i just discovered am romantically challenged :)Yes that's the hard fact and i have to live with it for this entire lifetime(not that i regret)..And the realisation actually made me think about the reasons as to why am this way :) And i have no clue at all..Either the choice of guys were wrong or i simply don't trigger the usual chemistry,biology or whatever nonsense.Oh yeah this also made me realise no matter what i do or say or how much ever pain i take in making myself presentable like a girl i simply can't behave or be like one :( Damn i nearly spent an all time high price for the change over but then no result..None whatesoever and nope am absolutely not worried about that at all..The only thing that nags me is the fact that if this state continues how am ie ver gonna find that Mr.right for me..As my mom fondly says that i just need to open my mouth and bahhhhhh comes the string of expletives - and lo behold the guy will have one fit of his life :) How the hell am i supposed to control something as involuntary as me swearing..Damn damn damn :(( But then i guess somethings never change and hey what to do -
"Am like this wonly " :) :)

Chuck IPL for EPL - That's me

I hate CRICKET.Am serious - i just loath the game which is considered as a religion here in India.And people here worship the players as gods.My view is this - It's all for nothing & nothing for all, that's the return you get.The much hyped IPL is very much here and i just don't understand as to what is in it that people are / were crazy about.And this mindset of mine applies to T20 also.Don't understand what makes people go crazy over their fav cricketer (this guy wudda been cursed the most for his prev performance),why is the media creating such a big hungama over nothing that's worth watching.Yes,i know it's strange for someone who is an indian and doesn't like the game which has taken all the glory off the national game and which has all the glitz,glamour,gory er glory..Blame it on all the scams that shed a new light on the game which people love so much even now.I can actually hear couple of my friends yelling right this moment they read this blog.And this doesn't mean that i don't watch cricket at all..I watch it when the aussies play tough but even that these days have lost it's sheen.I know few friends who anyday will enjoy watching a match of soccer with me than watch Cricket.Not because we feel that it's cool & hep to watch football, it's just that we prefer it more than a fixed game.
For all you know after these matches we'll get to hear the way the players were bribed by Team XYZ :) Recently i overheard couple of middle aged ladies talking about Pathan & how his timely wickets saved that particular match or whatever. Looks like the days of Pathi being parameshwar is long past gone & now it is Pathan who's taken over :)

IPL go away ..EPL here i come :)

Say Cheese :E :E :E

Laughter is the best medicine they say. My dad's side is well known for their sense of humor - esp the sarcastic kind. And my mom after being with them for years now, is finally catching up with the same. A snippet of a conversation that took place between my ma & me..

Me : Lachhuma coffee please
Mom : You just had a cup of tea an hr back
Me : So
Mom : Just give it sometime & i'll get you the coffee later
Me : Yeah i know, am after all a second class citizen here

A distant voice says - you are not IInd class it just tat you travel Unreserved
Mom : No she is not Unreserved
Me : ??? – What the hell you guys are upto?
Mom : you are a just a WITHOUT (which means tat i travel without a ticket or whatever. Worse than being Unreserved)
Me : Grrrrrrrr (gnashing my teeth)
Mom : A big grin


This is just one snippet of many such conversations that happens at my place. Now i know why we (the whole BG family) are looked upon at some places & otherwise at my mom's side. Sad that my maternal side fail to understand this side of humor.

Deaddiction

Addiction was a term used to describe a devotion, attachment, dedication, inclination, etc. Nowadays, however, the term addiction is used to describe a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in some specific activity, despite harmful consequences to the individual's health, mental state or social life.And for me off-late it has been Orkut esp Orkut Iyers.I have already blogged once about it but then i always had some serious discussion to talk about there then which was a perfect excuse i used.But these days esp for the last 4-5 months am a regular in OI and to call myself a regular is actually something less considering the amount of (at times useless)time i spend there.Was wondering for the last few weeks as to how i even got addicted this much but like every law in the universe - i got no answer :) .Probably it might have been coz of the fact that am at home now,enjoying my break and ofcourse unlimited net usage.

Put on my thinking hats again not that it helps but yeah just some lame excuse to ponder ;)No answer again. The only thing i did at last was that i decided i'll stay away for a while and check if i can actually get out of this so called addiction.Check if my will is as strong as i think it is.

Afterall someone once said ages ago "Will is willing but the flesh is failing"

Psycho-er-logy

What is it with Psychology and people?Everytime i come out and say that i have a Masters in Psychology i get a well earned look that screams 'hey now we know as to why you are weird' or the next inevitable question ' can you read my mind?' Psychology - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychology This explains it all.
Human psychology always intrigues me.Maybe that's why i chose the subject or maybe coz am just another psychologist who feels that it will probably give me some basic answers to my confused soul & head :) All thanks to Freud & James,not that i believe completely in Freudism.One common problem is that a common man fails to see the difference between a Psychiatrist & a Psychologist.We psychologists just identify the problems but to treat them we have Clinical Psychology.But Psychiatry is completely different.But all said it takes a lot of time to even explain the difference.Again beats me down to where i started - why is it that a human brain accepts group mentality easily than an individual?Why is it as an individual some people have less psychological quotient?Why is it that few of us can look ahead and read straight through one's thoughts?A friend of mine once said that it's violation of privacy :) can't deny that but it is not that we do that every single person who crosses our way.

Psychology that way is very interesting coz i personally have tuned my senses to a great extent where i can read a person and 90% of the time it's turned to be right on target & the remaining 10% - well you know that 'To Err is human' :)On the other hand it is NOT like i have a crystal ball and talk gibberish.And most of us are blessed with not just the ability to read one's mind but also with telepathy.Part & parcel of the subject.With this iam stopping coz i'll go on & on & on if i ever start on the topic.But planning to blog about certain other interesting stuff connected to Psychology.

Tic tac tic tac

My biological clock is ticking - yeah that's what iam gonna write about today.Am not able to hear the goddamn ticking but still everybody from my mom to some naani ki chachi ki beti tells me that it's high time i tie a knot.Tie a knot - whoa whoa whoa.To whom & for what.To be frank am a disaster when it comes to relationships..Well i can understand that esp from a guy's point of view - who would want to marry a tomboy,soccer crazy weirdo like me and suffer forever :) Just kidding.Well the point is that matrimony is the only word that's been echoing in my ears for almost well for a long time now.Some days i win,but mostly i lose the argument.My poor mom has tried everything,everything to convince me and here am single and still going strong :).


Well i agree with my folks & my buddy Krishna when they say that arranged marriages are not what i think.To me it's simple,let me know the guy and then let me decide about the rest.GOK as to why such things sound so simple but prove to be complex in real.Hey bhagawan do something or atleast put me in a time machine to escape- my B clock is ticking you see :)

TZP - Yet another review

To do justice to the number of movies i have been watching offlate - am gonna write about Taare Zameen Par.Am sure that every second person has watched it already but that doesn't stop me from writing about.

I was awestruck - that's the ony thing i can say when i saw the way Aamir has directed the movie.And for a directorial debute it stands a class apart.Probably we need more Aamir Khans with such decent flicks.The way he has portrayed a 9yr old boy who suffers from Dyslexia - a 9yr old who is looked down by his own father;by teachers n students at school,neighbours who complain about him and being sent to a boarding school which only makes him stop doing the only thing he finds solace in or the only thing he's good at - Painting.The story revolves as to how Aamir brings the kid out of his shell and makes others know that Ishaan afterall is a normal student and with a little help & patience can read ,write & pass tests like other students.The last 15 mins of the movie is something which impressed me so much.Splendid performance by Darsheel as dyslexic kid.One movie which i feel that most parents should watch & learn a lesson or two.But am sure that this movie alone will never make them not compare a kid with hi sibling or neighbour or his friend.And just that this movie alone is not gonna change the way teachers look at kids who are slow learners or have Attention Deficit Disorder.That much am very sure.Afterall this is a country which doesn't believe in sparing the rod.

The movie actually has made me check out for Disha - a special school for autistic kids.Hope i get to spend some time with kids there on a regular basis in future.

Newyear new hopes

Last day of the year..What an eventful year this has been right from day 2.To say i learnt lot of things in the professional & personal front would definitely be an understatement.Couple of things that happened within family brought me closer to my sis,things that strengthened my relationship with my best buddy.I learnt to take some hard decisions,learnt to let go of past - let go of lot of other things.And these are which would come along for a lifetime.And the way it started it's ending on an even more eventful note - all for good.I leave you all guessing on this :)

Hope to see best things across in the NewYear & am sure i'll

In the line of fire - literally too

It's just last week i finished reading Pervez Musharraf's autobiography - In the line of fire.Apt especially given the current situation.The now ex army chief speaks sorry blows his trumpet throughout the book;right from page 1 till the last page.He of all the person speaks about how Bhutto & Sharif and their likes plundered the nation of it's wealth & political freedom.Bah..For someone who says he is simple there's nothing simple in the way he thinks when it comes to India.Sly rather sordid way of managing the relationship between two countries.This man does believe strongly in what the Americans have to say,the way they ask him to go about ruling his country,politics & probably given a choice his personal life too.and yeah proved to be right now when the US asked him to step down now,he did without holding back.Civilian president - funny coz as far things have been there's not going to be any big change.Afterall the New Chief Army has been personally handpicked by the man himself.Not that we don't have this kind of high profile drama in our country.We had gone through our bit of Emergency (thanx to Indira Gandhi).Infact i had to appreciate his audacity for saying that he wouldn't have allowed his plane to land anywhere but India.Several such incidents where he could have just thought twice before putting it across in public.Afterall it's not a book that was meant strictly for Pakis alone.We unfortunate souls too have a chance to read throught the book.Was so sounding so childish that if this was given as our supplementary - kids definitely will have a laugh or two.For all that that's said in the book,we have a different version.And thanks to technology we can google & can learn the truth.Am not saying that India never made any mistakes,but at the same time the way he had put across certain situations was way too much.

Whomever said Love thy neighbour will have to take a leaf out of Prez's book.After all our man's eternally in the firing line.

Men may come & men may go

No if you think that this blog of mine's going to be about my relationships or anything - then you're partially wrong :)Yeah true that it's tough to decipher & understand a gal but believe me when i say it's tougher when it comes to guys.And the funny part is that me inspite of being the apple of the eye for few of them in my life i still strike a wrong chord or two.ALWAYS.With dad,Krishna & few others but the worst part is that everytime i try & makeup i endup falling flat.I don't know where i go wrong or rather how i can.Is it wrong to express myself coz i've even faced the wrath of one such person just because he didn't like the way i decided on a certain thing in my life and we just stopped speaking.

I say Yes & he says No and when he says Yes,i say No.I wonder when i'll ever get it right,i wonder when i ever will make it right and yeah wonders never cease :)

Love - Phewwwwww

This blog is specially for those 2 who make my life.One is my twin with whom i just can't stay angry & the other one is Krishna with whom i share the same feeling.These 2 are the ones i turn to when there's anything that happens in my life.Anyday anytime i know that i can turn to them for help,solution,suggestion - you name it they give it to me.With these 2 i have been rude,cruel,angry,happy,spent some best moments of my life infact lotsa super moments.And i have always felt bad in the end for treating them that way but yeah they understand me well that i don't have to think otherwise :) (taking too much advantage).And ofcourse another person i definitely will mention here is Ajay.That idiot to whom i crib,cry when i fight with the other 2.One who really has been patient in so many things & generally the rapport we share is just great.Infact we never feel awkward or slightly embarrased when am in bangalore along with Keerthi & Steve.

If i say thanx that's never going to be enough coz it's beyond that.Forgive me if you can when i have been reckless,thoughtless & idiotic.And never stop loving me coz it's just one rather the only thing that keeps me going.And i inturn will try & curb my temper,be a nice person & stop hurting with my words.Never stop being the way you are.

Love you Lamzu for what you are to me,Krishna - love you for putting up with my tantrums & Ajay for my usual self

On a serious note

On her way back from my aunt's place on one evening my mom saw these 2 old people who were standing on the road & asking for some change or help.Very old folks & with tears streaming down.My mom stopped by & took them to a nearby stall,got them some refreshments and in the meanwhile also came to know through the old lady that they have been asked to leave their son's house because his wife can't get along with them.Luckily while standing there wondering what next,there came another lady & said that she'll take them to a home nearby.Witnessed yet another scene y'day. An elderly man with a middle aged guy.The latter holding hands,trying to counsel or rather consol him for whatever it is.One scene which is very commonly seen in many of the old age homes & care centres which are on the rising side these days.Have always wondered as to what it takes kids to abandon their parents.Oh there are people who say that they spend a fortune in putting their parents in such homes but brings the question - can't you take care of your parents?Cant you have them near you if not in your own home & take care?Men esp who thinks that their wives are right when the she says that she can't take care of his parents but will willingly do the same to her side.I know i might sound biased or probably way out of my league when i say that it's mostly the ladies who prefer to take such decisions (they say they're forced - always).But at the same time i wouldn't deny the fact that there are cases when circumstances force you to take such decisions - but my only question is that why can't you have them atleast near you & take care?Won't it give your parentsa sense of support & security?On the flip side i have also seen kids being so nice out but then make their parents work esp the household chores inside.Well to say even my own grandmom is a victim of this emotional blackmail.When i was a kid,innocent,naive one i used to feel so good about the fact that my aunt wants my grandmom always.But when i grewup all of us know that it's purely for her own selfish reasons she wants her there :( & sadly my grandmom still can't differentiate chalk to cheese.

Am sure that neither my sis nor i will ever make our parents or inlaws go through this.I know the hurt & helplessness one has to go through.Am sure most of us wouldn't but then just leaves me with just one question - why do you succumb to such things,emotional blackmail,crying out loud,financial crisis & what not?Am sure answers are many for these but..

It's my life

Today i realised and i took a vow that i'll never ever have any kinda expectations or crib about something that i don't have.This is my 2nd visit to Kaakum Karangal and this visit only makes my decision stronger in adopting a kid in future.Seeing those kids' faces lighten up when they were given a new set of dress;had me think about the shopping me & my sis have done so far and i had tears in my eyes to think about the kids there.And it is just from today am gonna let of go of certain things in my life.Let go of my ego,short temper & what not.It's going to take sometime but hey i know i can do that.Probably will follow the policy of life is a like hand full of sand ;the tighter the grip,the faster it slips down.Afterall expectations never work in the way you want to and in the end you become responsible for your own actions & mainly reactions.

Letting go is always painful but hey the pain's just momentary when compared to what i might have to go thru my whole life.Coming this far in my life;i don't want to lose it.Well these are my own thoughts & am solely responsible for what i write here :)

Tanhayee

Kyoon aisi umeed ki maine
Jo aise naakaam hui
Door banaayi thi manzil
To raste mein hi shaam hui
Ab kahan jaaoon main, kisko samjhaaoon main
Kya maine chaaha tha aur kyoon kismat mein aayi
Tanhaai -Jaise andhero ki ho gehraayi

Adieu Hyd

Tomorrow will be my last day in Hyderabad.And somehow i feel that i'll definitely miss the place inspite of the minuses the city has.Have made lot of friends & few good friends and couple of very close friends.Never thought that i might find this place that good that i'll miss it but then that's the truth.And specially my association with 24/7.It's been memorable.Like any other place it has it's own share of fallen angels :) but still i have a whole lot of people i'll miss & vice versa. Athar my bro,Kaka,G House,Abhi,Priyanka, VJ,Anji and agents whom i know personally but then life goes on & so here i go.

And ofcourse i have to mention Chennai 24/7 - Paddy (my best gal),Pavi,Madhu K &S , Thyags,Giri,Bala,Nazeer,Ashok,Taarinee,Mridula..Man i'll miss them but still one plus is that i still can keep in touch.And why do i get attached to people so easily..GOK

A(B)SURD Syndrome

Am Smart U r Dumb

Something which seems to prevail with some of my friends or should i call them as friends is something which i never seems to get an answer.The reason behind this blog - simple.I met one such character on saturday while we went for an Orpahnage visit & then again on monday who managed to completely put me off.And believe me am not one of those i meet & i hate you types.Why is that some of us can't accept that probably the person whom you are interacting might have some knowledge on everything & that probably you might sadly lag behind.Grow up folks.It's not that all of us are dumb or that all of us are smart.

And am amazed by the attitude which they throw but then there again i have only one thing to say - if you think that being smart or trying to act smart might create a huge fanclub or audience to you - SORRY that's just not gonna happen ever.ABSURD isn't it to have an ego which is mountain high when you ar nothing but a mole :)

Sivaji - Mass disappointment

This time in home i watched couple of movies of which one is the oh -so-great- watever -Sivaji the boss- which turned out to be a crap.The other was Chennai 600028 which surprisingly was a low budget with not known faces in the screen but hey which was too good when compared to the former.

To start with Sivaji sucked big time right fromt he begginning & i fail to understand as to why so much of hype for such a mediocore movie.Shankar has tried to bring in his own the quintessential message to the mass with a mass oops sorry with a hero who is almost a demigod but sadly fails to create the impact which he did in his earlier movies.Especially the second half which had nothing except the typical Rajini masala with couple of his punch dialogues esp "Singam singla varum" which made me woer as to why then does this person have to come with the whole nine yards or all the spices ;) There's absolutely no coherency especially in the ast scene where he comes as MGR (yet another mistake) and the recent widow Shreya smiling at him with sindoor.But then with Sivaji around one must not use our logic :)

Sad that i ended up wasting my time watching this flick which is not worth a second time.